I am now puzzled! Why is it that when our thoughts are in one way or another materialized, be it in the form of Words, Pictures, or Movies, that we find them to be much more shocking? I am currently reading Georges Bataille’s “Story of the Eye”, and I must say that I’m finding it to be utmost fascinating. It’s not the pornographic language and images, it’s not the fetishes of the characters and not even the scenery in which all the debauchery takes place that struck me. It’s the idea of finding myself shocked by my own reaction. I personally never felt or viewed sexuality (in its broad meaning) as something immoral, an object to fear or keep locked away from the eyes and ears of those around me! To me the restraint from it seems much crueler than giving into it. As humans, we all think of it! We all fantasize, dream and experience it! So why is it that when our thoughts are right there in front of us that we find ourselves shocked. G.Bataille has a way of daring his reader to see her/himself reflected in his characters! I certainly saw myself, and yet it frightened me! A man almost a century ago, knew me! He knew my friends, my deepest and most bizarre fantasies! If he knew, and he is an ordinary man that separated himself from the rest via being able to say out loud what the others thought, does that mean that others know as well. If we all know those things about each other! Why are we all quiet? Society and morals you may say, I’ll give you that…We all need to survive in our society with the morals that it places on us…But we all go crazy…Why am I reading how eggs can be used in the most bizarre way imaginable to bring forth such high states of pleasure…and feel that it is wrong for me to admit to myself that secretly (well no longer since this is for all to see) I want to be inside the novel and experience all the debauchery and filth…the lust and disgust…the fear and tension…the automatic and raw sex drive….This brings me to think of J. Hiller Millers and the idea of parasites and Hosts…
I am a parasite devouring myself, since the society has labeled me as the host!
Since I know I have the ideas that Bataille depicts inside of my head, these ideas are my parasites feeding on my outward appearance which the society puts together forming a presentable and approvable host! But the parasites are there….At the same time…My parasite body is devouring the host which is my brain for bringing out the parasitical thoughts….The parasites are killing the parasites inside the host, which makes the parasite infected host nothing more but a parasite in disguise….
I will continue my idea as soon as I finish the book….