Tuesday, 17 February 2009

The Need, The Want and The Fear of Love


We as humans by nature are social beings. We need to feel the presence of others around us to feel alive. Many times this presence develops into something else. We develop feelings and emotions. Yet, most of the time we live in denial of this. We pretend that what we are going through is an illusion, we refuse to let go of the fear of abandonment that I think we develop in our early childhood experiences. This remains with us in our subconscious and paves the way for us to emotionally close off to our true desires. Often people connect on a level at which their mere being together causes sparks to fly. But this feeling soon grows into a habit, and we never stop and take a look back on how lucky we are to have found what we have. Since we need this feeling, and we do because we spend most of our time fantasizing and looking for it, why are we in such a hurry to foreshadow the low end of it we are sure is bound to be around the corner? There must be something programmed inside our heads that leads us to see the darker side of things. We want it, since we are most likely to do almost anything to obtain it. Then why do fear it so much? Do we fear to be right about the assumptions that arise at the peak of our joy or are do we fear the state in which we will be thrown back if those darker images spawn into reality. I think that most of the time they do materialize simple since in our inner selves we want them to. We need to feel the misery and the pain to reflect back on the sunnier times and promise ourselves that the next time things will be different. But will they? Will this next chance ever present itself? Some people go through their entire lives looking for this ultimate high state of love, when in fact it probably was there right in front of them this whole time. Take a look around and reflect. It’s there. Grab it! And once you have it within your possession, try not to sneak back into the fear in the back of our head. Focus on the need and the want!

4 comments:

  1. French writer/philosopher/sociologist Georges Bataille may provide you with interesting (though rather weird) material in the context of fascination, excess, matter, and the human psyche. He was influenced by Sade, influenced the French Surrealists a lot (sometimes negatively), and became a major reference to postmodern/post-structuralist writers up until the end of the 20th century.

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  2. Thanx for the comment and I'll make sure to check him out...

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  4. I was just re-reading your posts on beauty and the body and was reminded of another great book which is, I think, still available online (if not, tell me and I'll send it to you): it's called "Body Invaders: Panic Sex in America," by Arthur and Marielouise Kroker (2001), both of them editors of the ultra-famous ctheory website. In the book are chapters with titles like "Theses on the Disappearing Body in the Hypermodern Condition," "The Fashion Apparatus and the Deconstruction of Postmodern Subjectivity," and "Carnal Knowledge of Aesthetic States." As usual, highly recommended!

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